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Ex Mortis

I hate being unhappy. I wish I knew what would make me happy. I…


quite a phallic thing to say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

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you are paul rudd
I hate being unhappy. I wish I knew what would make me happy. I wish I didn't feel like people hated me now, or avoided or anything like that. Even if I know that it's not true. Or at least am pretty sure.

Maybe I need someone to tell me specifically 'I am not avoiding you' 'I don't hate you' or 'stop being so stupid'. I don't know. I feel stupid asking people if they do/are/whatever, but I feel stupid anyway. Plus, what if they say "yes, I'm avoiding you" or "no, you're not my friend anymore"? What then?

I have anxiety, and I have no reason for it. (Or maybe I do?) I'm not late on any bills, not on any homework. Was I like this last year? Is it just winter? Maybe. I don't know. I don't even have anything to distract myself with.

This is stupid. I'm just being stupid. Or something. I don't know.
  • I'm not avoiding you!!

    Could it be SAD??
    • I know! I doubt that anyone actually is.

      Maybe. It is really dark in Michigan during the winter, even in the day. And I have been sleeping oddly.
      • Have you checked you Vitamin D levels?? If not, get it checked. Could be due to Vit D deficiency, especially if you're also feeling tired all the time.

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